A journal?

So ive tried to keep a journal before, didnt work so well. I even have bought a new one that i carry in my purse so that if i feel the need to write something down, i can right away! does it have anything in it yet? nada so i decided to try this. if anything else i just decide to erase it, right? well lets see my life. Im begining to feel like the biggest hypocrite ever! I tell myself that i am a very religious person, I tell myself that i dont go to church because i dont like my specific religion. but do i find out about any others? do i make attempts? do i even know where my bible is? Can i quote the whole bible verse that i have tattooed on my body? I mean Jeez what am i doing? I was looking at my facebook and there is a photo album of my friends and i getting trashed on a wednesday night, and i titled the album ¨just another wednesday¨. How ashamed did i feel when my confirmation sponser wrote on it and asked if i remembered how i used to spend my wednesdays? Youth group. Think about it, when i was in highschool my parents didnt ground me from going out ever, they grounded me from Youth group! I dont think i know how many hours i spent there in my 4 years of going... I miss it, God knows i do. But do i look for something else to do thats like it? Wow until i started writing i didnt realize how much this was bugging me. All that is just one aspect of my life i have plenty of more